


Friending Meme Drabbles

by Taz



Category: Blood Ties, Elementary, Highlander, Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes (Downey films)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-14
Updated: 2012-12-14
Packaged: 2017-11-21 02:11:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/592291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taz/pseuds/Taz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The prompt for Dragonfly's "And be Pricked by the Devil" was "Henry Fitzroy, swearing." I can't see Henry saying 'Odd's Bodkins! or 'Zounds!' but I can see him just a tad peeved with Mike, and so I buried his very personal and off-color (pardon the pun, but once you start doing it...) remarks in Shakespearean puns. Here's the key:<br/>Curst – penis: plays on the Greek keras (horn)<br/>Best side – puns on backside, and the idea that the devil approached arse-first to seduce with homosexual intent<br/>Mettle – semen<br/>Mire – boggy, swampy (shitty)<br/>Mingle – multiple meanings – copulate, but also hermaphrodite - puns on mingle/ingle/ningle (catmite) and mangeaille (waste).<br/>Perfection – hermaphrodite<br/>Steal – make a whore (a stale) of<br/>Color – arse, testicles<br/>Contention – sexual satisfaction/the act of fucking<br/>Froth – semen<br/>Matter – puns on métier (trade) so pandering, also penis and semen<br/>Straight – rectum<br/>Copper – sexual intercourse/excrement<br/>Spur – penis<br/>Rouse – swell<br/>Detested – castrated<br/>Monster – homosexual/hermaphrodite<br/>Prove – demonstrate virility<br/>Business – genitals<br/>Ramping – whoring, leaping, a woman with masculine qualities<br/>Blind cheek – arse<br/>Pricked – fucked</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. One Day at a Time (Elementary)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ReginaGiraffe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReginaGiraffe/gifts), [wyomingnot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyomingnot/gifts), [lferion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lferion/gifts), [Ithildyn (Ithildin)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithildin/gifts), [Mojave Dragonfly (Dragonfly)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonfly/gifts).



Hear that whistle blowing, like a train in the distance…?

Joan buried her head in the pillow; the engine rolled right over it.

Lurching out of bed, trailing the sheet behind, she stumbled down the stairs straight into the edge of the kitchen door, bounced off like a pinball, and careened into the stove, giving the knob of the burner a vicious twist. The wailing kettle subsided with a mournful moan.

“Three sugars, Watson!” Sherlock called from the front room. “You’re going to want to see this.”

There were two mugs on the counter. And—progress! He’d remembered the teabags.


	2. A Gift from Wellsville (Sherlock Holmes)

Mrs. Hudson had left the tea tray, and I was wiping off my pen point, when I heard Holmes exclaim, “Dear God!”

“What’s the matter?” I cried.

“The filling in these sandwiches, Watson.” Holmes was opening them one by one, and throwing then down in disgust. “I can’t bring myself to say what it looks like, much less how it smells.”

“That would be the new peanut paste Mrs H said she was going to try. Her niece brought her one of Dr Kellogg’s nut cookery books.”

“Thank heaven; I was afraid you’d launched another campaign in the purity wars.”


	3. The Sea Glass Necklace (Highlander: the Series)

“Happy anniversary!” John’s arthritic fingers fumbled with the catch of the necklace, entangling Rebecca’s red-gold hair. “The jeweler told me that Roman glass washes up from the Sea of Galilee, but this is just bits of broken old gin bottles, plates, and I don’t know what-all, that’s been tumbling around the Channel. I picked most of the colors to match your eyes—grey and blue with flecks of black—the amber’s to remind you of me—but that trip next year, I’d like to pick up shards on all the beaches you’ve ever walked upon, and add them to it.”


	4. A Lesson in Immortality (Highlander: the Series)

“I was the cockiest thing you ever saw; covered with spines. Three nights up a tree—cold, wet and hungry—I wasn’t feeling cocky... Anyway, I assumed the bear was gone, and was half-way down, when Horsa caught up with me.  Never skinned up a tree so fast in my life, but I was dead! My sword was somewhere in the bushes. Then the bear rushed out, and ripped Horsa’s head off. The bear got dinner, I got the quickening, and a great lesson in survival.”

“What’s that?”

“Never assume the bear has gone. Strangely, they’re not intimidated by swords.”


	5. And be Pricked by the Devil! (Blood Ties)

Here comes the curst whoreson with his best side towards me, a lad of mettle mingled in perfection, in which I would find myself em-mired. He steals the colour from my lips, night after night, in dreaming contention where I feast on froth instead of blood.

If I put the matter to him straight, Master Copper-spur would rouse him and cry me detested monster, prove himself, and all his business, dedicated to Aphrodite. But see the rose tint ramping high; thus truth comes to light.

Come with me Angel, you’ll kiss my blind cheek, and be pricked by the devil!

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for Dragonfly's "And be Pricked by the Devil" was "Henry Fitzroy, swearing." I can't see Henry saying 'Odd's Bodkins! or 'Zounds!' but I can see him just a tad peeved with Mike, and so I buried his very personal and off-color (pardon the pun, but once you start doing it...) remarks in Shakespearean puns. Here's the key:  
> Curst – penis: plays on the Greek keras (horn)  
> Best side – puns on backside, and the idea that the devil approached arse-first to seduce with homosexual intent  
> Mettle – semen  
> Mire – boggy, swampy (shitty)  
> Mingle – multiple meanings – copulate, but also hermaphrodite - puns on mingle/ingle/ningle (catmite) and mangeaille (waste).  
> Perfection – hermaphrodite  
> Steal – make a whore (a stale) of  
> Color – arse, testicles  
> Contention – sexual satisfaction/the act of fucking  
> Froth – semen  
> Matter – puns on métier (trade) so pandering, also penis and semen  
> Straight – rectum  
> Copper – sexual intercourse/excrement  
> Spur – penis  
> Rouse – swell  
> Detested – castrated  
> Monster – homosexual/hermaphrodite  
> Prove – demonstrate virility  
> Business – genitals  
> Ramping – whoring, leaping, a woman with masculine qualities  
> Blind cheek – arse  
> Pricked – fucked

**Author's Note:**

> This set of drabbles was written in support of kouredios's Friending Meme: http://kouredios.dreamwidth.org/226094.html


End file.
